Greetings and welcome to another journal post covering the period up to today Saturday 9th May, I know I said there never be a weekend post but I missed yesterdays post so thought I’d do it today instead. Thursday was a big day in the UK with the general election taking place, which is when we decide how will be the chief crook running the country. Now being someone who has been politically active since being at university I naturally took an interest in the election and the local campaign, and of course used my vote despite knowing that it would make no difference. The last two weeks have been really good for me as I have not even thought about the people who caused my emotional problems until yesterday when the one who I still occasionally speak to sent me a message talking about the election, A surprise to me as this person is not at all political.
Hearing them talk about the election stirred up all sorts of negative thoughts and emotions and even made me glad about the election result! I have been reading a book about schemas and how to deal with them and change the patterns of behavior that reinforce them, I haven’t had enough time to finish it and so it was of no use so far but I feel that once I have a better understanding of them I will be able to move forward and not fall into the same old routines of behavior. I know no-one reads this so I can let loose my vitriol about how these social democrats think they are on the side of the oppressed and underprivileged but really are worse than the establishment party supporters, tax dodging, property owning(thanks to the bank of mum and dad) wouldn’t know what life is like for the working class or how to make their lives better, let alone be on the side of social justice.
Also while listening to ‘all in the mind‘ a great radio 4 program about mental health I discovered that chewing can help you forget things stuck in short term memory like a song or incident and having tried it a few times I have to say that it does work but not 100% still a handy trick to ease those negative thoughts out. Finally this week I have been doing my exercises motivated purely by the thought of sticking it to these two people whom I find it difficult to separate, as in if I see or speak to one then it’s as if I am talking to both. My secret plans for dealing with this matter are progressing slowly but I am totally committed to following through with my plan. Finally having no real friends has meant that I have not had an evening out for over a month going on two and it’s making me a little insular, with no real prospect of anyone ringing me and saying “hey let’s go out for a drink” or “lets go see a movie” means that I am usually alone with my thoughts which can be nightmarish at times and normally means that I have to go out on my own which isn’t always such a bad thing but can be awfully lonely and does nothing to improve my mental health. I intend to start working on this issue and find some people with whom I can go out and have fun with over the next month or two while I progress my plan forward. Nordicana 2015 a event based around all the Scandinavian dramas like ‘the killing‘ and ‘borgen‘ plus all the others is coming up in June there is at least the prospect of some fun times ahead even if I end up going on my own. Well that is about it so until Monday